The day where i told zhijie how i felt if he were to get accpeted of the job

Today i met zj..and i told him how i felt..and all..we had a long talk and i understand how he felt, he said that if he wanted to go into animation, now is the chance..else forever he'll be doing IT..he wanna do things different from others..and the studying factor of 3 yrs is alot..and also he doesn't wanna spend his parents money too ..

hmm...i keep feeling that he's going off soon..i have no idea y i feel that way..but i feel strongly..hmm..i dono how i'd react if one day he told mi his boss told him he'll be accepted..though now i already put myself in the mood of preparing for his departure..cos when u really hear the news it'll be different from when u assume i guess..ratSz...y am i so unsupportive now/?? cos i noe that our relationship will be put on stake..thats Y!!!!

Imagine..u went thru hell for 10 mths. ur bf treat u like shit for the 10 mths. wtf...i jus wann fuck it and don;t care, but did i? no. i held on..endured..cos i believed its onli that period of time..yet that time seems like forever. the things he said, the things he did. that attitude he showed. all are still in my memory.

Its hard to forget jus at the snap of the finger*HELLO* U think so easy meh??cock. but thinking that for the next 12 mths it'll be the same round of hell i'll be getting AGAIN, who would be supportive and embrace his decision with a big SMILE :)<-------pukez..
when u think about the veri high possibility of the same vicious cycle happening agn. i feel veri veri veri and mind u , its veri(x10) depressed.

wah lau ....even after telling him..i still feel unease. until i noe for sure if he's being accepted or not. i wonder if his boss will call tml...or the day after..i can't seem to stop thinking when his boss will call...

he must have felt sad bout wat i told him..cos i sensed the sadness in myself too as i was explaining my words.....but my purpose is not to make him feel lousy ....we've said that we must be truthful to each other..and i really wan him to noe how i'm feeling now...my concerns about us..

His interest and future is at stake, he's gonna make it big, one day, so y can't u be supportive like when u heard it for the first time. Its good to take risks..even the government supports that...he's gonna be the next genius animator maybe..cos weta digital leh..how many pple yearn to go there..!!the vast experience he'll be exposed to...things that people of his age won't be doing..he'll have an edge over them in terms of skills and experience...future career advancements and the future employers would be impressed by his exposure and works..impressive portfolio that can be shown ..these are the possible things that might jus be IT for him.. so shldn't u be happie and be supportive?

Yes..i'm trying hard to accept the fact....but when u think of wat is going to happen next time ..i can't help but feel a sense of uncomfortableness again..but i really have to try to embrace the fact that he is going to work..and i SOM PAH i really am trying veri hard to giv him my full support with a big smile on my face too...but i need time ok ..give mi some time to do that..

He haven't even got the call of being accepted or not..and now i'm feeling like he's going off. I JUST CAN'T HELP IT. I have these feelings surging and i jus need to tell him like i did..so that when he tells mi he's going off for sure..i would at least be abit prepared mentally.

i don wanna feel that i'm losing him suddenly. and its at the end of JAN IF he's leaving. We'll leave it to fate if he's gonna get accepted or not..in the meantime...i wish him the best of luck and i'll accept watever turns out..